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          Joe bonanno son lorenzo death...

          It’s not a standard career path, granted, but Nicolo Festa – the unerringly confident Italian hipster from the early weeks of this year’s X Factor – somehow finds himself in the running to be our new singles reviewer.

          Obviously a decision of this magnitude should not be taken lightly, so we’ll put it to a vote – you can have the guy who used to have the job (an uglier and less funny version of Nicolo named “me”) or you can have floppy-haired Festa.

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          5. Vote below, with these withering words ringing in your ears (whole column here). If nothing else this’ll at least give Nicolo the chance to win a public vote again.

          DAVID GUETTA
          Who’s That Chick feat. Rihanna
          Gum Prod/Virgin
          I was wondering when David Guetta would bless our existence with yet another instrumentally constipated tranny song.

          First he got Kelly Rowland to scream into my ear and now it’s Rihanna’s baritone voice telling me she wants to dance “cause she doesn’t care”. Everyone want